When someone you know suffers the first thing we want to do is reach out. We want to say something to make it feel better. We want to help them understand why they are going what is happening to them.
The first thing we should do is check our opinions at the door. Regardless of our theories on the crisis, we are here to comfort that person not judge them. I would recommend praying before you even get near the person(s) in question. Ask for wisdom in what not to say and when not to say anything at all.
When someone is hurting, they often appreciate touch more than the spoken word. A simple hug can uplift a heart more than a thousand words. Express your caring in the practical. Maybe cook a meal for the person, offer to take care of their kids, or pick up the mail.
A kind ear is often appreciated. Listen, again without judgment, to what the person has to say. Don't jump to offer opinions. If you're wondering why I stress this, read(or reread) the book of Job. His friends tried to tell him why he was suffering but ended up being unkind, callous and downright wrong. Instead ask what you can do to help.
You being there can be all the person needs. So leave your comments at home and just be a friend.
Take Care and GOD Bless,
Freedom's Scribe
Yes, listening is vital. Don't feel you have to always fill the silence either. Sometimes it's just enough that the person knows you're there.
ReplyDeleteAnother one is to ask the person specifically if there is something that you can do for them. You may or may not get a response. If you do offer you must be willing to follow through.
Thieves watch obituaries. Offering to remain in the home while the mourner(s) has to be away can be a help. For safety reasons, this should be done with a minimum of two people.
The person(s) who is grieving may not acknowledge your acts right away, but trust me they will be remembered.